In my lifetime, I have seen death and I have heard about death but sincerely I have never felt death like this. Your death has left an indelible hole in my heart forever.
Just like yesterday, the memory of how we became husband and wife still resonates afresh in me. On that faithful morning of October 1st, 1960 which happened to be Nigeria Independent, I was fully kitted for the Independent Day celebration before my father Okeja Agbogo who also happened to be your father’s friend asked me to accompany him to the market to sell some our farm produce, on getting to the market, the news of birth echoed in the market as your dad was amongst the most popular and richest people in the community then. Without a moment of hesitation, my Father gathered some of the farm produce we had brought to sell and asked me to accompany him to see your Dad. When we arrived at your house it was filled with people and celebration and right there and then, my father brought out kolanut and some of the farm produce we had come with and gave it to your father (Chief James Obochi) and declared immediately that I will be your husband when we both grow up. It was like a joke because I was still a child and they just gave birth to you but indeed, it was a day God made to bless me. A union made in Heaven. Ogechukwu as I have always called you, marrying you was the best and still the best thing that happened to me on this planet Earth.
From that day onwards, as a child and a dedicated Christian, you became my friend as our parents were both friends. Fifteen years after, the year 1975, that prophecy and proclamation came to fruition as we officially became husband and wife in fulfillment of the tradition and custom of the land and in the year 1976 we had our church wedding in accordance with our Christian faith. That Prophecy, friendship, and companionship which later transformed into husband and wife became my strength, my life, and the sum total of whom I had become in this life. Oge, you were more than a wife – you were my counselor, my partner in faith, and the compass of our home.
When you decided to pursue teaching as a career, I saw in your eyes the passion of extending to other children the values you had impacted in our children; the virtue of hard work and dedication in all they do both as students and Christians. You balanced running our home with advancing your education, from Teacher’s Training to your NCE, never for once letting either responsibility suffer. I watched with pride as you transformed our compound into a haven. The steady stream of children who filled our home during festivals, knowing they would never leave hungry or empty-handed, showed me daily that I had married not just a wife, but a mother to an entire community. Your generosity knew no bounds, yet you managed our resources with wisdom that left me in awe.
Remember those early days when you ventured into trading? From selling foodstuffs to managing the citrus supply chain, your business acumen surprised many, but never me. I saw how you would wake before dawn, handle your business, maintain your teaching job, and still ensure our six children were the best students in their classes.
You made our home a center of excellence. Under your guidance, our children learned to work the hardest on their farms and excel in their studies. You turned our marriage into a masterclass of parenting, showing our children that discipline and love are two sides of the same coin.
As fellow Knights of St. Paul’s, you helped me understand that leadership in the church isn’t about titles but service. “Agulu uche onu?” they called you – truly, your wisdom was immeasurable. Your dedication to the Anglican Communion went beyond Sunday services; it was a daily ministry of touching lives.
In thirty years of watching you teach at Central School, Community Primary School, and Universal Primary Education School, I saw you raise not just our children, but generations of Okpuje’s finest. Your promotion to Chief Headmistress was not just a personal achievement but a community celebration.
The pain of losing your loved ones – your father Chief James Obochi, your mother Elizabeth, your siblings Roseline, Josephine, Ikechukwu, Alloy, and others – never broke your spirit. Even in your final days, despite your own pain, you insisted on that last journey to the village for the triple funeral. That was you – always putting others first.
My dear Ogechukwu, you’ve left me with twenty grandchildren who carry your spirit, three daughters-in-law and two sons-in-law who loved you as their own mother, and six children who strive daily to uphold your legacy. The women in your groups – Ugomma Cultural group, Inyom di, Women’s Guild, Mothers Union, Ladies of St. Paul – all miss your leadership.
As I stand here today, I’m not saying goodbye. Your kind of love doesn’t end with death. In every bag of rice you shared with the needy, every child you mentored, every life you touched – you live on. Until we meet again, rest in the Lord’s embrace, my beloved Ogechukwu.
Your loving husband,
Sir Christopher Ugwu Ayogu
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